Food | Pork Belly Buns ala David Chang
Have you ever wanted to have a party where everyone is like, “oh my god, this food is so amazing, I want to give you millions of dollars and all of these really hot girls want to hang out with you!” Me too! And when I want those moments to happen, I make these scrumptious little bastards.
Pork (good) Belly (gooder) BUNS (good goddamn!)
Here’s what you do:
- Get a bunch of pork bellies. I don’t know how many, but enough to feed as many people are coming to your lame-ass party.
- Butcher them against the direction of the fat to be about 1 inch thick, 3 inches long.
- Sprinkle them with brown sugar and a little five spice (which is star anise and four other spices you can’t taste because all you can taste is star anise.)
- Put them in the oven at 350º for a long time. These are pork bellies, folks. You want that fat to melt and for the bellies to become all unctuous and nommy.
- Use the word “uncutous” more because it’s awesome.
- Chop up some cucumbers and pickle them however you want.
- (When I do it I just pour rice vinegar over them, mix in some fresh grated ginger and a little salt and sugar and leave them like that for an hour. People seem to like them but I wouldn’t know- I don’t eat cucumbers because I think they’re gross. Blech.)
- Chop up some scallions and put them somewhere.
- Get yer buns out of the freezer. I’m talking rice buns. You can get them at the international grocery store and they look like this.
- Put them in a steamer.
- If you’re like me and you don’t have a steamer, here’s what to do! Get a big-ass pot, put a little water in the bottom, and then put a strainer on top of the pot. That way the steam gets up, the buns don’t drown. Neato!
Okay, it’s been a while…
- Pull out your pork bellies and let them cool a little bit. Get your buns and slather them with some hoisin and Sriracha. Put the pork belly in the buns, garnish with scallions and cucumbers (if you’re one of those people that likes cucumbers.)
- Eat the shit out of those little bastards. They are so good… you’ll probably go blind.